The Muse

The Muse

About The Muse

This blog is dedicated to the art of musing. From now on, this is where I will muse.

May The Force be With You...

Daily muse...Posted by Karen Sawyer Mon, September 05, 2011 17:27:43

"The manifestation of true love is a natural activity, neither virtue nor sin."

~ Joshu Roshi

I feel very lucky to have been given many opportunities to understand love. ‘Til now, I wouldn’t have written the words ‘understand’ and ‘love’ in the same sentence without a gargantuan ‘DO NOT’ before the ‘understand’. If there’s any reason for my life on this planet at all, then it’s to find a way to love and be loved the way that I desire to love and be loved. I regard love and nature as one and the same; not to keep it and cage it but to love the freedom of it all as it IS.

The human pull toward companionship and intimacy (aka ‘The Force’ in me) is strong. If I could avoid it whilst still remaining sane, then I would (and, believe me, I have tried) – because it might surprise you to hear that I have not previously had much success in my relationships... [cue the violins]... Hang on, hang on - this is actually a good thing... [cut the violins, please]... because I know that there’s got to be another way to ‘do’ this that actually works... a sort of 'not relationship' relationship. I just haven't figured out how to do it yet.

In times-gone-by, as a (nearly) divorced single-mother over 40 [and it absolutely makes me cringe to use these labels on myself], I would be considered unkindly by society as a ‘spinster’ or ‘old maid’... that there must be something ‘wrong’ with me. Maybe some women in my situation feel this way, but I certainly don’t! I feel happier ‘in my skin’ than I have ever felt. Content. Centred.

... and then Along Comes a Man and every ‘button’ I ever had (and some I forgot about) is pushed; all the insecurities and leaning start to kick in. Nowadays, I’m conscious enough to observe what’s going on and can nip this insidious cacophony in the bud before it has its wicked way with me. Breaking patterns does take quite some time and effort, I will admit. I’m currently on a learning curve through no man’s land, where being a total romantic is both a blessing and a curse. It’s total bliss and it hurts like hell, and everything in-between.

And I love it all.

As it is.

~ Karen

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Posted by Karen Sawyer Sat, September 10, 2011 20:00:19

LJ, that is just beautiful... thank you for sharing it with me. It deeply resonates. xxx

Posted by lesleyjanelove Fri, September 09, 2011 03:05:58

Your post got me thinking of a chapter about kin in one of my favorite books,
The Education of Little Tree:

"Granpa and Granma had an understanding, so they had a love. Granma said the understanding ran deeper as the years went by, and she reckined it would get beyond anything mortal folks could think upon or explain. And so they called it "kin".

Granmas’s name was Bonnie Bee. I knew that when I heard him late at night say, “I kin ye, Bonnie Bee,” he was saying, “I love ye,” for the feeling was in the words. When Granma would say, “Do ye kin me , Wales?” and he would answer, “I kin ye,” it meant, “I understand ye”. To them, love and understanding was the same thing, you couldn’t love something you didn’t understand.

Granpa said back before his time “kinfolks” meant any folks that you understood and had an understanding with, so it meant “loved folks”. But people got selfish and brought it down to mean just blood relatives; but actually it was never meant to mean that.

Granpa said that such was “kin”, and most of people’s mortal trouble come about by not practicing it; from that and politicians.
(Carter, 1976)
LJ xx
P.s. I've never quite managed to sustain being the person I want to be AND be in a relationship at the same time.

Posted by Jason K Mon, September 05, 2011 17:37:17

Hi Karen; nice open post; only maturity/austerity (Saturn's gruel!) allows for romance to bloom that isn't egomania in disguise.

You may like this, May Day's Marital advice for the shipwrecked: